Sermon Fill-in-the-Blanks are ____________.

Stupid. Yup, I’m afraid those fill-in-the-blank sermon outlines are simply stupid.

Obviously, that’s not the intent. Those who use fill-in-the-blanks do so with good intentions. They say filling in blanks keeps listeners engaged and helps them remember what they hear.

Trouble is, these assumptions are problematic. While some people may enjoy monitoring sermons for missing words in an outline, many others find the hunt for mystery words actually distracts from the heart of the message.

And what’s the evidence that filled-in blanks lead to higher retention and/or life application of a message?

If fill-in-the-blanks really worked, you’d use them everywhere. You’d hand out fill-in-the-blank papers to your children: “Don’t forget to pick up your ___________ and put them in the ________.” You’d issue fill-in-the-blanks to your new office workers: “You’ll find the printer ink in the _________ on the ________ side of the __________ room.”

You know that wouldn’t work. It’s stupid.

What’s more, use of fill-in-the-blanks sends troubling hidden messages. If you agree our chief ministry goal is to help people grow in relationship with the Lord, what do fill-ins imply? If you were pursuing a real relationship with another person, would you use fill-in-the-blank handouts?

I’m afraid fill-in-the-blank outlines diminish the nurture of a love relationship to a tedious academic exercise or a distracting puzzle.

So, a few recommendations:

1. If you wish to send people home with key thoughts on paper, simply provide them—without the silly blanks.
2. If you wish to accommodate people who like to take notes, simply give them a blank sheet of paper. They’ll note key thoughts that matter to them.
3. If you wish to truly engage and involve your people, follow Jesus’ examples. Let the people do some of the talking. Encourage questions. Use active experiences.

We’re not here to play theological Trivial Pursuit. We’re here to build friendships with Jesus.

Haggard, Vampires, and Other Taboos

News of next week’s Lifetree episode on Ted Haggard’s tale of temptation has lit up the news wires. From USA Today to Reuter’s to CNBC to The Christian Post, everyone is buzzing.

Haggard’s controversial filmed interview will fire up lively conversation about temptation and restoration at Lifetree Cafes around the country. But not everyone is happy about this.

A woman in Pennsylvania complained to a local Lifetree Cafe about an ad for the episode, entitled “Temptation: When Good Men Go Bad.” She also objected to this week’s episode, “America’s Love Affair with Vampires.” She said the topics were “just a little too cutting edge” for her and her religious friends.

She said, “I understand how you’re trying to engage people in discussions, but it should be enough to talk about real lasting joy, or hope, or peace, and not have to use a gimmick to draw people in.”

The local Lifetree director responded to her with this: “We are having success, and many are finding hope and lasting joy. Topics like ‘The Art of Loss,’ ‘Autism,’ ‘Dealing with Difficult People,’ ‘Temptation,’ and even ‘Vampires’ bring in people who are hungry for the truth. I guess some believe that Christians shouldn’t address topics like vampires, even though the Twilight series skyrockets and kids in church youth groups are infatuated by them.”

He continued: “I guess it is cutting edge, but we believe it is right where God wants us–in the midst of people with needs. So I can understand concerned religious people voicing opposition, for even Jesus took shots for hanging out with sinners–Luke 15:1-2.”

It’s an ongoing debate. Some want to avoid talking about difficult or “cutting edge” things. “Nice people don’t talk about these things. Especially not at church.”

The assumption seems to be if we avoid certain life issues at church, maybe we can make them go away. But here’s the deal. People are going to talk about these things whether we deal with them or not. We can choose to stand by and let the world talk about these things without us. Or, we can enter in and insert God and the love of Christ into the conversation.

Top 3 Reasons Ministries Avoid Evaluation

Whenever I’ve asked church leaders why they don’t encourage more feedback on their ministry work, I’ve heard familiar recurring reasons they don’t: 

1. If you ask for feedback, all you get are complaints.
2. People don’t know what they really need.
3. You shouldn’t ask people to evaluate God.

As mere humans, we come up with all kinds of excuses for avoiding things that might lead to change. Change, for most people, is uncomfortable. And, for many in the church today, change seems like a heretical concept.

But there’s nothing heretical about striving for improvement in how we go about ministry, how we go about helping people know, love and follow Jesus. Inviting feedback is one way we can improve.

Even the corner cafe knows the value of feedback. “How was your dinner?” “How was the service?” The cafe owner knows your perceptions are real. And he knows that your perceptions of the food and service are more important than his own–if he wants to improve and grow.

But we in the church we have been reluctant to ask for feedback. Why? The Top 3 Reasons seem to get repeated over and over. But they’re just bogus excuses.

#1. Even if #1 were true, it’s a great reason to actually invite feedback! We learn to improve when we understand where we’re missing the mark. Every specific complaint is far more helpful than 10 meaningless repetitions of “Nice sermon, pastor.”

#2. This one, actually, is often true. But we can’t meet genuine needs until we become better at creating an environment of receptivity for the truth. Even if the cafe owner knows his patrons really need nutritious food, they won’t be back to eat it if the restrooms are dirty or waitress is surly. Those things are simple to evaluate.

#3. No, you shouldn’t evaluate God. But you aren’t God.

So, how do you invite helpful feedback? First, know your ministry goals. Then ask specific questions related to progress toward those goals.

Throughout the national network of Lifetree Cafe ministries, we ask two key questions weekly: “Did you experience God today?” and “Did you grow closer to others today?” These outcomes are based on Jesus’ two great commandments. Incidentally, almost everyone fills out the Lifetree comment cards every week. And, most weeks, we see very high affirmative answers, often with extra comments. Reading the comments is a favorite part of our week.

Some other sample questions for you to consider:
–What do you recall from last week’s sermon/lesson?
–How did you put last week’s message to use in your life?
–Did a leader or member greet you by your name today?

Feedback questions may be posed on comment cards, in mailings, online, and in person. You may invite feedback weekly, monthly, or sporadically. Just make the mechanism available and easy for everyone to participate.

Your ministry will be better for it.

Time now to heed my own advice. So, what do you think? How helpful was this post for you?

The Big New Spectator Sport: Church

Sunday is a time for spectator sports. At the stadium. In the arena. On the field. And in the church.

File in. Sit in rows. Watch the professionals perform. File out. That’s the job of the spectator.

Over the years, the church has drifted away from participation, toward passive spectatorship. The trend affects the worship hour, as well as children’s and youth ministry programming.

The trend struck me a couple of years ago as I entered a large West Coast church service. Professional musicians and singers performed as song lyrics blinked on giant screens. The quality sound system pumped the professionals’ music into the room, easily overwhelming any voices from the congregation.

Most of the spectators seemed to enjoy the concert-quality presentation. But only about one in ten sang along. The vast majority merely watched the professional Christians worship. Then the congregation settled in to watch the preacher. He too performed with polished quality.

When I suggested a few weeks ago that we turn down the volume of church praise bands, some readers balked. They argued they didn’t want to hear off-key congregants. 

As a church, we must ask, has our quest for presentation quality trumped everything else?

The goal of professional sports is to fill venues with paying customers who sit and watch others perform. Has the church tacitly followed the same protocol? Or…do we have a real interest in encouraging participation, encouraging everyone to come down onto the field and actually play?

We like to describe our faith as a relationship with Jesus Christ. Relationships require full participation. They’re interactive. No relationship grows when one person simply sits in the stands and observes.

It would be easy to blame the pew-sitters for being couch potatoes. But, in many ways, we’ve created a game that encourages their passivity. They’re simply being good spectators.

Meeting the Real World–Outside of Church

I’m afraid I chafed some readers’ tender spots with my recent suggestion that you “get out and spend some time with real people.”

One church staff member replied, “I AM a real person. My life is as real as anyone else.”

Of course. You’re the same flesh-and-blood as everyone else in your community. You work hard, you care, you love, you hope, you laugh, you cry, you get frustrated, you appreciate a sincere word of appreciation. And those of us in the pew do appreciate you. Even though we don’t say it often enough.

Actually, we love you. We care about you. We admire your passion to serve the Lord you love. And, we’d appreciate knowing you as more than just that professional we see in church. We’d be proud to call you friend. And we’d be proud to be called your friend.

Befriending—being in authentic relationship—requires people to know and be known. And that’s the spirit of my “get out” rant. We come to your place every week. And it’d be cool if you’d come to our place too.

It’s different out here. This is our real world.

We don’t want to see you as some distant academic in an ivory tower. We want to see you more like Jesus, who wasn’t just the Word, but Word who became flesh. Who went where the people were. In the fields. In the boats. Among the lepers. In their real world.

So, if you wish to credibly describe how to live a Christlike life in our real world, in our workplaces, in our schools, in our homes, you’ll need to physically enter our world. Frequently. Just as Jesus did.

Stand-and-Greet Time: Friendly or Fakey?

Every time the pastor or worship leader prods us to “stand and greet your neighbor,” I paste on my little smile and go through the motions. “Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.”

I assume the goal is to shake as many hands as I can in 60 seconds. I usually squeeze seven or eight hands as I twirl like a little helicopter in the pew. But I’m a chump compared to the wiry guy who works the church from front to back, speed-shaking his way through 20 to 24 hands per minute.

But what’s the point? I know the intentions are good. To show we’re a “friendly church.” To demonstrate God’s love. To promote relationships.

Problem is, most stand-and-greets don’t deliver well. Following orders to shake hands differs from exhibiting genuine friendliness. Few visitors determine a church’s friendliness based on how well members obey orders. Church growth researcher and author Charles Arn found that most people don’t determine friendliness on the shake-o-rama time. Or on the assigned performance of greeters at the door. What’s the most telling time for them? It’s the minutes after the service—when authentically friendly people talk naturally with newcomers. Or not.

If you care about showing friendliness and encouraging relationships, here are a few suggestions.

1. Move the suggestion to talk with others to the end of the service. Encourage us to linger and enjoy the company of others. This allows for meaningful relational time, beyond a perfunctory “good morning.”

2. Rather than asking us to stand and shake, give us something interesting to talk about. Perhaps relate it to the theme of the day.

3. If you’re serious about the intended goals of this exercise, provide a meaningful length of time. Rather than a 60-second dash, carve out 10 minutes for the faithful to really get acquainted and share how God is working in their lives.

It’s a good thing to nurture relationships among God’s people. I like to talk genuinely with new and old friends at church. But I’m weary of being a reluctant, misplaced serial Wal-Mart greeter-in-a-pew.

The Only Thing That Truly Matters

My recent post, “10 Wishes from a Pew Sitter,” produced quite a flurry of impassioned responses. Some resonated with this pew sitter. Some differed. Some felt insulted.

I certainly didn’t wish to insult (forgive me). Just to prod. And to encourage some reflection. I’ve reflected too. The comments made me think, consider, reconsider, and wonder.

One reader recoiled at my suggestion of allowing coffee into a worship service: “Don’t expect to relax and drink coffee when you should be thinking about the all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God. Would you act that way with the President or the Queen of England? I don’t think so.”

This gets me thinking. What is the real purpose of ministry? What is your overarching goal? The comments to my little blog post revealed a number of heartfelt priorities:
– Correct worship
– Reverence
– Tradition
– Formality
– Musical taste
– Carpets unstained by coffee

These things may be important (except the carpet), but should they be what drives ministry? How do your priorities filter how you approach ministry? What is your ultimate ministry purpose?

When it comes to finding clarity of purpose, I love Jesus’ encounter with Mary and Martha. Jesus told the sisters that “only one thing” truly mattered. That “one thing” was exemplified in the relationship being nurtured between Jesus and Mary.

That’s it. That’s the one thing. The big deal. It’s what drove Jesus’ ministry. And it’s what he prepared his disciples to replicate.

Jesus showed that growing a relationship with him resembles how we grow a good relationship with other people. But he was criticized for that. The religious elite called him a “glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.” He probably stained the carpet too.

But his mission was clear. It was all about the relationship–with him. And with others. That mission dominated everything he did and said. Building the relationship was more important than tradition. More important than formality. More important than religious taboos, such as picking grain on the Sabbath.

It’s that devotion to relationship that drives my passion to relate better with those who do not yet have an actual relationship with Jesus. And it also drove my “10 Wishes” list. In the weeks to come I’ll unwrap how that devotion impacts each item on the list.

In the meantime, I’m thinking about the Queen of England. If she offers me a cup of coffee (doesn’t she drink that other stuff?), I think I’ll accept. And relax. We’ll be good friends. And if she doesn’t care about the carpet, I won’t either.

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Something Unexpected

Ron’s comment stunned the group at a Lifetree Cafe event. After watching the filmed story of two men dealing with guilt, he asked a question.

“That story was nice. But what do you do with big guilt?” he asked. He had everyone’s attention as he painfully told his story. Ten years ago he persuaded his reluctant wife to take a walk with him. A few minutes into the walk she stepped off a curb, was hit by car and killed instantly.

“It’s all my fault,” he said. “But that’s not all. I was so absorbed in my own grief I didn’t see how my son was dealing with the loss of his mother. I just didn’t know–until I got a call from the sheriff. My son shot himself. And it’s all my fault.”

As Ron sat down, the group was breathless. Then, one by one, people got up and moved to Ron’s table. Some prayed. Some embraced Ron. Some simply stood with him in silence.

It was a sacred moment. And it was healing moment for Ron. Years of guilt began to melt as God’s people reached out to this hurting man.

No one, including Ron, saw that moment coming. It wasn’t planned or expected. But what WAS planned was “God space”–time and environment set aside for God to do something unexpected. We do this every week at Lifetree Cafe. We allow for spontaneity. We make room for the Holy Spirit to work. And it’s one of the reasons over 80 percent of the people report experiencing the presence of God every week at Lifetree Cafe.

This spontaneity thing seems to be a lost art. But Jesus was a master at it during his ministry. He frequently made use of unexpected–and highly memorable–moments. The paralytic lowered through the roof. The woman caught in adultery. The picky Pharisees on the Sabbath.

It’s time we reclaim the gift of spontaneity. The church has become all too scripted and predictable. From our liturgies to our lessons we’ve become so scheduled that we’ve squeezed out space for God to work.

We create God space when we allow time for give-and-take, for conversation, for questions, for doubts. We create God space when we build in generous spans of silence. We create God space when we engage people in experiences that provoke deep reflection, like Jesus did with the washing of his disciples’ feet.

Ron experienced God that day in Lifetree Cafe. Unexpectedly. And it changed him. He was a non-churched guy in the community who has since become a volunteer worker in his Lifetree. And he now specializes in comforting other hurting people. He learns of their needs, in quite spontaneous ways, in the God space.

10 Wishes from a Pew Sitter

At the start of a new year, as a pew-sitter, I have a few wishes for the church leaders I know and love:

1. Banish the “stand and greet your neighbor” time in the worship service. I know your intentions are good, but it’s forced, fruitless and goofy.

2. Forget everything they taught you about three-point sermons. You’re wildly successful if you can get across one point. Just one point. Then sit down.

3. Get out and spend time with real people. Schedule lunches at your members’ workplaces and schools. Listen. Get a feel for how real people live.

4. Encourage regular evaluation. Use comment cards. Ask us what we remember from last week’s sermon. Then take us seriously, and adjust.

5. Crank down the volume of the band. Allow us to actually hear the voices of the flock.

6. Burn the fill-in-the-blank sermon guides. They’re insulting, distracting and ineffective. (Can you imagine Jesus using them? Let’s see, “Feed my _______.”)

7. Show hospitality. Encourage people to enjoy a cup of coffee—during the service.

8. Let us participate. Entertain our questions—during the service. Let the real people around us tell how God is working in their lives.

9. Relax. Make some real friends. Spend more time with your family. Don’t schedule every evening with church meetings.

10. Get rid of the pews. Really.

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The Power of Questions

At a recent Lifetree Cafe event a woman named Ruth told the group about her childhood experience with Sunday School. When she was nine years old she had lots of questions about God and the Bible.

Her questions reflected a sincere search for truth. At her young age she had doubts about some of the things she heard from her teacher. “I’m afraid I had too many questions,” she said. “They asked me to leave.”

She never went back. Now in her 60’s, Ruth doesn’t feel welcome in the Christian church. “They don’t want my questions or my thoughts.”

She’s not alone. Today’s churches rarely accommodate questions in a welcoming way. And that’s hurting the cause of Christ.

A Search Institute study found that personal faith in Christ is enhanced in churches that encourage questions–allowing for two-way interaction. But the church is structured for one-way communication–prepared remarks dispensed unilaterally by preachers and teachers.

Ruth frequently goes to her local Lifetree Cafe–because she’s actually encouraged to share her thoughts and questions. In fact, the sign on the wall says, “Your thoughts are welcome; your doubts are welcome.” And the Christians she finds there engage her in authentic conversations–about God.

Jesus himself presented a great model for us. His ministry provoked and encouraged all kinds of questions. He knew that any relationship–including a faith relationship–grows through the give-and-take of conversation, of questions and responses.

So, a question: What do you think?